Working in retail has opened my eyes to how annoying people can be! I used to be an animal carer so rarely had to deal with people. The perfect job haha!
But I've been working in food retail just over a year now and I'm amazed at some of the things people do that really bug the shit out of me!
So heres my top 10 things customers do that make my blood boil!
- Using their mobile, talking or texting, while I’m serving them. I don't ignore you, I don't avoid saying hi and being polite. After all if I didn't acknowledge you at the till, or was having a conversation with a college or customer you'd complain right? Yet you think its ok to ignore me when I ask if you need a bag, then after you've paid demand a bag and then get offended when I ask for 5p!! Mate, if you weren't so engrossed in your phone for 2 minutes you'd have heard me ask if you wanted a bag!! I have actually stopped being polite with you guys, I just want your money and I'm done trying to see past the rudeness.
- We offer a free flower wrapping service, its very popular and it makes our customers happy when they're buying flowers as a gift, lovely! But when you ask for me to wrap them, then say those 4 blood boiling words “TAKE THE PRICE OFF”!! I literally have to fight off punching you in the face. As if I’m going to leave the price on them, do you think I'm fucking stupid or what!!!
- When you pay with some change, but decide to place it on the checkout, on the bit that slopes downward where your shopping collects, then moan that it wont stay put, what the heck is going through your mind?!?! But to top this off, you will avoid my outstretched hand, which would avoid this chasing change around the till game. Maybe thats why you do it? You enjoy chasing 10p’s around.
- Asking me for advice about cigarettes or e liquid. I don't smoke so its like asking me about rocket science! Just because I work in the kiosk and have access to hundreds of cancer sticks doesn't mean I am a cigarette connoisseur does it now. No. Piss off.
- When someone else sends you in to buy something that you don't know what it is, didn't write it down, and don't know what it does, yet you ask me as if I’d know. Love, if you haven't got a clue then the chance I'm going to know what you're on about is pretty darn slim innit?
- Kids throwing a little temper tantrum when I ask them for ID and they don't have it, this is more hilarious than annoying and I really have to hold in the laughter sometimes! One kid last week went off on one because I asked for ID for a scratch card, he claims he was 22, I dunno, don't care, but he didn't have it so I refused the sale. “Babe I’ve got a fucking 4 grand car in the car park and you're gunna ID me for a fucking scratch card”. What the flying fuck does the price of your car have to do with how old you are!!! Get out my shop you absolute loser, all you've accomplished is pure embarrassment to yourself and now you're getting slated in my blog post, and laughed at by everyone in store too. Without plonkers like you we wouldn't have hilarious stories to share! Thumbs up you little twatbag!
- When baskets or trollies of shopping are left, we put them away, we have to otherwise chilled or frozen items become unsellable. Now a lot of you will come to us and say whatever, you've forgotten your money but you'll be back in 10, or you need to nip to the loo, and thats great, we can put your stuff aside, everyones a winner. It’s you weirdos that just leave it somewhere, we find it all alone and put it back, and then 30 mins later you come back pissed off as hell that you're shopping has been put back! I dunno what world you live in that we are gunna leave an abandoned basket of chilled products to go off and then have to waste but you need to come back to earth and tell one of us lovely retail folk to keep it aside for you, we will happily do that for you!
- Shoplifters thinking we haven't clocked on to them, I actually find it funny when they're being watched but don't know it, heck maybe they do, I'm not sure, but then when they get caught by security they cause such a scene, whats the point? Give it up, you got made, deal with it. No way you're gunna beat the guys we have on security anyway! They're right muscly beefcakes!!
- Groups of kids, now I’m not being one of them moaning adults about kids being in groups and causing trouble because no. Most groups we have are just having a good time and being respectful to other customers, us guys and the store, but theres a few groups of kids and kids who's parents have no control over them that just cause disruption, riding their bikes and scooters around, playing football, stealing sweets, running around, and some of our customers are very old and/or disabled, we also get groups who have mental illnesses who are really disturbed by these out of control kids. Well kids, you've done a really great job of getting yourself banned, get the fuck out and don't come back! Now these smart arse kids then come in with their parents like little angels, their folks obviously don't know their kids are little shitbags when they aren't home, and I get the satisfaction of letting said child know he shouldn't be in here right in front of his Mummy! If you can’t take the heat of Mums wrath then don't act like a stupid fuckwad in the shop to impress your little chummies.
- So you know when you go into a shop, and the thing you want isn't in stock, its annoying yeah? But I’m not sure how you expect to complain to me about it, like what am I gunna do about it? I’m not gifted in the art of witchcraft, I can’t summon things out of mid air can I? “Well whens the delivery?” I don't actually know, you remember we've established I’m not a witch? Well I can’t predict the future either to see when the delivery arrives, nor can I see if the product you want is on said delivery! Then those killer words, the words that I’ve actually laughed out loud at in the past despite trying my hardest to be professional, “Well I’ll go somewhere else then”!! Great, fine! Go somewhere else!! I couldn't give a flying fuck where you go, what amazes me is when people say this, they actually think it upsets or offends us in some way!! Like surely the obvious thing to do if we don't have it in stock is to go somewhere else anyway! But I guess you need the last word in to make yourself feel better, but I cant lie to you, I don't think there is one person working in retail right now that finds offence or shame in being told that! WE LAUGH AT YOU PEOPLE!!!!
And with that little rant over there is my top 10 things that annoy me in retail! I’m sure many of you retail folk can relate, and have more of your own to add! Please do and we can have a good old chinwag about hilarious and annoying customer habits!
Thanks for reading!
Vikky
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