In light of valentines day rapidly approaching and I am once again spending another one single I thought it might be fun to explore the many reasons why I am a singleton!
I think one of the main reasons is that I have been single for a while now, quite a few years! I am used to doing things on my own, and I've grown to be very independent. When I have attempted dating its really hard for me to change so much about myself to let someone else in. Being single is the norm for me and I'm actually kinda happy with it!
I'm scared of intimacy! Both emotionally and physically! I have never let anyone through the brick wall surrounding my emotions and true self and I'm scared to do that. It takes a lot of trust and faith in someone to do that and its not something I can easily do, it takes me a lot of time to build that up with someone and before I manage they've given up and I'm back to just me myself and I! I'm not totally against letting anyone in, I want to, its just so hard and I don't know how!
I am waaaaaay to picky! Trolling through online dating profile like a complete stalker I will reject someone if they have a t shirt on that I don't like, or they aren't tall enough, or they have hair that makes me cringe! It is extremely shallow and I know I shouldn't judge people tis way. Its not something I do if I meet someone out and about but I do it online. I am trying to change this crappy way of thinking and I have met a few great people from not being so shallow. Also when I've met someone things will bother me, stupid things that shouldn't bother me but they do and I'm instantly put off!
I'm quite shy in social situations, I can feel quite awkward and I struggle being myself when meeting people. This means that guys never come back for a second date because in my awkward state I said something totally cringeworthy or my words wouldn't come out properly and it scared them off! Some of them I don't blame them one bit! Since starting my blog I feel loads more confident in social situations, I still have a long way to go, but I'm on the right path, maybe the end of that path will be a guy I haven't scared away!
I am flippin lazy! I like my own time, and enjoy my own company, and if I was to meet someone I’d have to spend that time with them! Between my job, my family and friends, my dogs, job hunting, my photography course, my blog, and slobbing it seems like sooo much effort fitting a guy in too!
One major reason I have lost potential dates is they find out I'm allergic to nuts, and off they trot! I don't have any clue why! I am totally confident and sure of my allergies and I don't let them hold me back in the slightest, I still eat out, I still explore new food, I still travel, I still do everything non allergic people do (apart from eat nuts, duh!) but it has been a major deal breaker in the past, and I never really get a reason as to why. If anyone can enlighten me, please do!
My final reason why I'm single is that I do not want anything less than a long term relationship. Casual and fun relationships don't tickle my fancy in the slightest! It takes me along time to build trust with someone and be comfortable enough to be intimate and by that time they've given up! Its like relationships have flipped, before you got to know someone, hung out, no pressure, then build up to the intimacy and full blown relationship. Nowadays you're expected to put out almost immediately and thats just not me. Why should I spend time, effort and emotion on something if its going no where?
So I think thats pretty much why I think I'm single, I look like a right weirdo reading this back to myself!
As I am, I’m happy being my single self. I do have a scroll through dating sites every now and then, and I welcome it if it comes. But after realising all of the above about myself I have a bit of work to do before I think I'm ready to accept someone in my life.
The right guy is out there, we just haven't found each other yet!
Thanks for reading!
Vikky
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