Should I go to uni and live in my van full time?

2 years ago I was all set to head back off to uni to start a masters in forensic anthropology. Before this new venture even started it came crashing to a stop and I had to cancel my place on the course. I’d been suffering from a chronic spinal condition and found out that I’d be needing surgery. I decided the best thing to do was to focus on my health and recover with no distractions so going to uni wasn't an option at the time. 

But now I look back thinking if I had gone, I’d have my masters. And thats depressing as fuck! I know I couldn't change my past so thinking this is stupid because surgery had to happen but I still think where would I be now if my health didn't fail me. Would I be working abroad? Would I be in further education? Would I be making something of my life which I don't feel I am right now?

I’ve been thinking a lot about if going back to uni is the right decision, especially with me wanting to study such a niche course. Jobs are scarce and competition is high. Would I even be working in the field if I had done the degree as planned? Hell my undergrad degree is in animal welfare and management and I work in a food store! 

What would I study? I have a couple of interests, I love bones and the story they can tell about someone, 2 years ago this was linked to forensics, but now I’m becoming more interested in historical remains, so what do I study?! Do I stick with forensic anthropology because that won last time, or do I consider that I’m in a much different place physically and mentally than I was 2 years ago and consider studying osteoarchaeology? I can also include animal remains with this course which I have background in studying so I wouldn't be a total noob like if I was to study forensic anthropology where I have no background. Oh my gaaaaahhhhh I don't know!!

What I do know is I’ve already decided if I was to head back off to uni I'm 99% sure I’d live in my campervan full time. I haven't looked recently but my masters was going to cost £5500 2 years ago, accommodation was a further £3-4000 plus bills on top! Crazy! If I was to live in my van full time I’d have fuel costs, replacing my gas when it ran out and my usual bills such as mobile phone and food. So my overall cost would drastically decrease. Plus I’d absolutely love one day to take the plunge and try living the full time van life. My goal for this year is to get over my fear and try and start making some money from my photography, hopefully growing it into a business and being able to sustain myself living and working from my van. It might never happen, I have major doubts about my photography skills and I'm terrified of fucking up someones wedding or something and I couldn't live with myself if I had to tell newlyweds they had no photos of their special day. Its terrifying!

I think too that having a business already in place before heading off to uni will be super sensible. Easier said than done for this self doubting moron! 

Can you tell I’m just a tad conflicted about the decisions I have ahead of me?! I guess because I lost a good chunk of my twenties to my back problem I'm stuck up on trying to claw back all the things I've missed out on and getting overwhelmed thinking about too much at once! But ultimately I really would love to get in my van and drive off to uni one day.

Disclaimer! I’m a little brain fucked on painkillers writing this! I’ll probably read it tomorrow and take it down because it might make no sense! Or I’ll have forgotten I've written it! Either way I hope you've enjoyed my rambling and if you haven't then you've just wasted precious minutes of your life. 

See ya later monkeys!

Vikky

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My thoughts and opinions on YouTube.

In the last few months I've been feeling like youtube isn't quite the place it used to be. Change is good, but this change feels uneasy, it feels like its pooping on the little guys, and letting the big ones get away with some naughty stuff!

First off I wanna say about this new thing youtube are doing demonetising channels with under 1k subscribers and 4k hours viewing time, I, and the youtubers I know aren't in to youtube for the money, so fine youtube, take it. What I am miffed about is the way that youtube communicated this change. With comments such as it wants to support thriving channels. Clearly there are two sides to this word. Thriving to me is a channel that has creative content that captures me, lovely comments, the channel owner responding to comments, the subscriber count going up slow and steady with people in it genuinely for the content they enjoy. Its clear on these channels that they aren't in it for the money, if it happens then fab, if not then thats ok! You can see they enjoy making videos and engaging with their subscribers. That to me and many others out there is a thriving channel. But youtube says no, a thriving channel is one thats bringing in the big money. And here in lies the upset with smaller youtubers. When you think your doing something amazing, youre having fun and people are loving it, when you're using a platform to do this, than then tells you your channel has no worth, it hurts! You feel angry, unsupported, you lose faith and trust in the platform. 

This is what the issue is. I mean after-all, channels with under 1k subs essentially don't make money anyway! Because it cant be released till you hit £100? Something like that, and channels that small don't make that much. So for people to come out and say they're only upset about the money is completely wrong! 

Next I wanna talk about how my own youtube world has changed. So I’ve kind of started a channel, if you can call it that! Its more of a place for me to use as a video journal, but if people wanna watch what I'm up to then fab. Its also a place for me to develop myself, I’m incredibly camera shy and built up having my face in a shot with music in the background, then I plucked up the courage a few weeks ago to attempt a vlog!! I’m converting a van into campervan and wanted to talk through my electric hook up and the progress I’d made so far and I did it!! Its really helping me to develop some confidence. I also have a terrible memory, so having videos to look back on of what I've been up to is nice knowing I won’t forget it all!

I’ve also changed a lot of the content I watch. I’ve unsubscribed from a lot of larger youtubers in favour of smaller ones. I’ve also been feeling like some of the bigger ones I watch have become quite entitled, like their success has gone to their heads a bit and it turns me right off. I’m so tempted to name and shame right now but no, I’ll save the names for the awesome guys and dolls I've been enjoying! So the only big youtubers I watch on the regular right now is Joe Sugg vlogs, thats another thing, I've shifted from like sit down videos to vlogs! James Charles, Graveyardgirl, and my all time favourite Exploring with Josh, someone send this guy to me for my birthday please! Major crush on this bundle of cuteness!!

These guys are literally the only ones I watch with over a million subs every time they upload. I cant even think of anyone else I watch not very often with over a million!

These guys are a mix of literally a few hundred to a few thousand subs who I cant get enough of! Ellis Woolley, JaackMaate, JessieB, Danelle Hallan, ayydubs, Gabriella Lindley, Bubbaloostitch, Kate Murnane, Rnkall day, Ask a mortician, minimal millenials, Leah Turner, Melanie Murphy, actingmylife.

The list goes on and on, and I want more small channels to watch!! I don't have enough really small channels and I want more! Give me more!!

Since stepping my toe in the van life scene, I’ve noticed a massive shift in the channels I watch, it used to be a certain group and their friends and they all recycled the same videos over and over and copy each other and do tags and stuff and Im just bored with it. Its the same shit over and over! I’ve noticed myself watching more vlogs, travel vlogs, exploring videos, travel content, van life content, channels with real life, channels that show me more of the world and open my eyes to  things I’d never have known, take Ask a Mortician for example, she has opened my eyes, in a time of my life where I was involved in planning many funerals that we have a very “keep death away” attitude and it should be the opposite, I’ve learnt about more eco friendly ways of body disposal and to be more at one with death. This channel meant I was able to take my dog to be put to sleep and instead of avoiding her death, I stayed with her till the end and she died in my arms, I’d have never done this if I hadn't had Caitlin show me that death shouldn't be kept hidden and looked away from and its channels like this that spread education and don't follow the trends that hook me in.

If by any chance there is a person reading this….hahahahaha! No one reads this blog! Get real Vik! Please shout out some small youtubers, if you're a youtuber yourself tag your channel, share the love and lets get those smaller channels out there! But not just youtube, tag your social media too! Hint hint, personally I love a good travel themed instagram, but tag and share and spread the love. 

I’m writing this as if people are actually going to do this, but no one comes to my blog so I’ll just live in my delusion and one can hope haha

Thanks for reading bumheads!

Vikky

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The Greatest Showman Review.

It's been a very long time since I've seen a film at the cinema and its just hooked me in. The Greatest Showman was absolutely incredible!

Not 15 seconds in I turned to my friend and said “I'm already in love with this film” and I don't think I blinked again. I was engrossed, taken away, a fire could have broke out in the cinema and I wouldn't have realised!

I have a love/hate relationship with musicals. There are some like The Blues Brothers, Grease and Pitch Perfect which are fab, and others like La La Land which is probably one of the worst films I've ever seen. It still irks me today I paid £9 to see that god awful sad excuse of a film! And then I found out the same people who did La La Land’s music did this (or something else! I know people who worked on La La Land worked on The Greatest Showman) so I was worried I’d think this film would suck too but I can’t remember a film I've seen in a long time that has made me want to go right back and see it again. I’ve downloaded the soundtrack, I'm obsessed with youtube interviews and behind the scenes and I will for sure be seeing it again. 

My two favourite songs from the film are This Is Me and Rewrite The Stars. Whoever wrote these songs I take my hat off to, they are all kinds of stunning. The scene with Zac Efron and Zendeya performing Rewrite The Stars was just beautiful.

Zendeya really stole the show for me. I’ve heard of her, but never seen her in anything other than Spiderman Homecoming so didn't actually know she was a singer! Turns out she can sing, act, dance, and trapeze. They wanted to use the stunt double as little as possible so she learnt how to trapeze and that was her doing all that wonderful trapezing! Girl crushing!

Speaking of crushes, Zac is a beautiful man. And in this film he just epitomises a kind and understanding man and its a breath of fresh air to see in a world full of hate.

This film is just what we need right now. There is so much judgement placed on people in the world who are “different” and it needs to change. My own personal views are that yes, they are different, but that to me is magical. A world where everyone is the same is boring. Different colour skin, hair, people with missing limbs, disabilities, whatever makes us unique and interesting and should be celebrated. Far too much emphasis is placed on looks and not enough on a persons true self, their personality and this film teaches that. 

The whole production on this film was one of the best I've ever seen. Everything from the story to the music to the dances to the meanings behind the words of the songs to the actors is outstanding. 

I can’t recommend seeing this film enough. If you have no one to go with hit me up! I’ll see it 100 times over and still be in love!

Thanks for reading!

Vikky

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